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How To Give A Good Blow Job, According to Sex Therapists

You're about to get an A+ on this assignment.

Oral sex can be an intimate and deeply satisfying experience for both partners when done with care, enthusiasm, and technique. Whether you're a beginner or looking to refine your skills, expert advice from sex therapists can help you elevate your game. Here’s a guide to giving a mind-blowing blow job that both you and your partner will enjoy.

1. Communication Is Key

Before diving in, open the lines of communication. Ask your partner about their preferences, sensitivities, and boundaries. According to sex therapists, understanding what feels good for your partner helps build trust and ensures a pleasurable experience for both of you.

  • Questions to ask:"Do you like a lot of pressure or a lighter touch?"
    "What areas feel best for you?"
    "Do you have any sensitive spots I should avoid?"

2. Start With Enthusiasm

Confidence and enthusiasm go a long way. Sex therapists agree that enjoying the experience yourself makes it more enjoyable for your partner. Approach oral sex as an opportunity to connect, explore, and have fun.

3. Set the Scene

Creating a comfortable and sensual environment can enhance the experience. Consider dim lighting, soft music, and a comfortable place to engage in intimacy. When both partners feel relaxed, pleasure comes more naturally.

4. Use Your Hands

A good blow job isn’t all about the mouth—your hands are powerful allies. Sex therapists recommend combining hand movements with oral stimulation for maximum pleasure. Use a twisting motion or mimic the up-and-down rhythm of your mouth for a seamless experience.

  • Pro Tip: Use lube or saliva to reduce friction and make movements smoother.

5. Pay Attention to the Whole Package

Don’t focus solely on the shaft. The head (glans), frenulum (the sensitive underside of the head), and testicles are all areas that can heighten arousal. Incorporate gentle licking, sucking, or stroking to keep things interesting.

6. Pace Yourself

Building anticipation can make the experience more exciting. Start slow with soft kisses, licks, or gentle suction before increasing the intensity. Gradual buildup not only enhances their pleasure but also gives you a chance to find your rhythm.

7. Experiment With Techniques

Variety is the spice of life—and oral sex! Here are some therapist-approved techniques to try:

  • The Twirl: Use your tongue to swirl around the head of the penis.
  • Deep Throat: If comfortable, take more of the shaft into your mouth, breathing deeply to relax your throat.
  • Licking Like an Ice Cream Cone: Use long, flat tongue strokes along the shaft.
  • The Tickle Tease: Use the tip of your tongue to trace the sensitive frenulum.

8. Don’t Neglect the Testicles

According to sex therapists, many people enjoy stimulation on their testicles. Use gentle sucking, licking, or stroking to include this area. However, be sure to ask your partner about their sensitivity levels—some prefer light touches, while others may enjoy firmer pressure.

9. Incorporate Temperature Play

Temperature changes can add excitement. Try sipping warm tea or sucking on an ice cube before going down. This contrast can create new sensations that your partner will love.

10. Make Eye Contact

Eye contact during oral sex can be incredibly intimate and arousing. It shows confidence, connection, and genuine enthusiasm. Periodically look up to gauge their reactions and enhance the emotional bond.

11. Respond to Feedback

Pay attention to your partner’s body language, breathing, and vocalizations. If they’re moaning, gripping the sheets, or pulling you closer, you’re on the right track. If they seem tense or withdrawn, adjust your technique and check in with them.

12. Use Your Voice

Humming or making soft sounds while performing oral sex can add a pleasurable vibration sensation. Plus, it signals to your partner that you’re enjoying yourself, which can heighten their arousal.

13. Practice Good Hygiene

Fresh breath and a clean mouth show consideration and care. Keeping your nails trimmed and clean is also important if you’re incorporating hand movements. A quick shower or freshening up before intimacy can make everyone feel more comfortable.

14. Set Boundaries and Have a Safe Word

Discuss boundaries beforehand, especially if you’re trying advanced techniques like deep-throating. Having a safe word or non-verbal signal ensures you can stop or slow down if anything becomes uncomfortable.

15. Finish With Enthusiasm (or Know Your Preferences)

Discuss in advance how you’ll handle the finish—whether swallowing, spitting, or avoiding ejaculation altogether. Letting your partner know your preferences removes uncertainty and creates a smoother experience.

Final Thoughts

Giving a good blow job is less about perfect technique and more about connection, enthusiasm, and communication. Every partner is different, so experiment with techniques and focus on what feels good for both of you. With these sex therapist-approved tips, you’re well on your way to earning an A+ in oral intimacy.

Happy exploring!

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